so explain again why im purple
no
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
