You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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