Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
