This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
