He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
