So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
