I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You are the jesus of drinking
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize