I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My vagina is officially offended.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
