Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
