Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.â€
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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