I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
