You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize