If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
