It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
