your parents love me but you hate me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
