I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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