I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
