dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
