I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
