she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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