Moan for me like Helen Keller
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
