I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
