You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
