So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
