Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
