I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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