its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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