I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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