how can u be prego again
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
