But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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