fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
