He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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