I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
