I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
