Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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