So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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