we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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