come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize