I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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