I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize