just tell him i said nine months
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
