It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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