How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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