Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
her vagine was all disorganized.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
