I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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