real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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