I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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