First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You're a waste of cheezeits
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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