btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
