Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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