So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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