WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
