We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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