I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
