mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
