Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
