She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
