garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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