Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
