peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
