You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
