he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
