So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize